The Moment I Realised I Was Leading on Empty
I remember the exact moment. I was standing in front of the mirror, getting ready for another leadership meeting, another presentation, another day of doing the work I was known for. I had the title. The trust of a national team. A track record that spoke for itself. From the outside, everything looked like it was working. But on the inside, I was depleted. I looked in the mirror and saw someone I barely recognised. The sparkle was gone. The weight of holding everything for everyone else was etched into my face. The pressure. The pace. The performance. It had all become a mask, and I didn’t know how to take it off. And here’s the part that might surprise you: I wasn’t failing. By every external metric, I was thriving. I was leading large teams, delivering results, and growing influence. But what no one saw was what it was costing me to keep going. I was constantly tired, disconnected from my purpose, and questioning whether this version of leadership was sustainable—or even meaningful. I had become skilled at compartmentalising. Home life was unravelling. Grief over my mum’s passing was still sitting in my chest, unresolved. My marriage was crumbling. And yet, at work, I was “on.” This is what I’ve come to call leading on empty. It’s the kind of leadership that keeps everything moving, but at a cost. It’s what happens when we give and give, without spaces to refill. And the scary part? It’s normalised. Rewarded, even. The turning point didn’t come in a big bang. It came in quiet moments: a breakdown in the car, snapping at someone I cared about, crying in the bathroom between meetings. It came when I started to ask questions I had avoided for years: Is this what leadership is supposed to feel like? Am I building something… or just surviving it? The deeper I leaned into these questions, the clearer it became: something had to change. Not just for me but for the people I led. Because here’s the truth: we can’t lead others well when we’re disconnected from ourselves. That moment marked the beginning of a different leadership journey. One rooted in strength, yes but also in softness. In kindness. In sustainability. I began to deconstruct the version of leadership I’d been taught and rebuilt something that felt true. Something human. This journey led me to develop the framework I now teach through Your Best Year Yet a neuroscience-backed reset for leadership teams who are ready to lead with more rhythm, more connection, and more clarity. It’s the work I wish I’d had when I was burning out quietly behind a high-performance mask. The system is built around three pillars: Purpose – helping leaders reconnect to what actually matters, not just what looks good on paper. People – creating psychological safety, trust, and real connection in teams (because we lead humans, not KPIs). Process – building a leadership rhythm that supports consistent, meaningful action without the burnout. It’s not about softening expectations. It’s about sharpening alignment. Because when we lead from clarity instead of chaos, everything changes. I share this not as a theory, but from lived experience. I’ve rebuilt from burnout. I’ve reset high-performing teams who lost their rhythm. I’ve sat across from executives who admitted, with tears in their eyes, that they don’t know how to keep going without breaking something or themselves. What I know now is this: Sustainable leadership is not a nice-to-have. It’s a must. If you’re reading this and quietly thinking, “That’s me,” I want you to know—there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re not weak. You’re not broken. You’re human. And you’re not alone. Leadership can be powerful and kind. It can drive results and preserve wellbeing. But it starts with us. With telling the truth about how we are, and giving ourselves the permission to lead in a new way. If you’re ready to explore what that looks like, I’d love to walk beside you. Because you deserve to lead with a full tank—and your team deserves that version of you too. Reach out, and let’s start the conversation.
From Sandcastles to Sandpits: Transitioning into Leadership
I used to be an amazing sandcastle builder—it was my craft, my career, my passion. Then came the day when they said, “You’re great at building sandcastles. We want you to manage other sandcastle builders.” Excited yet anxious, I wondered: Would they listen to me? How could I oversee their work alongside my own? I had been one of them, building sandcastles side by side, and now I was responsible for their success. My “sandcastles” became HR policies, systems, and challenges. This was my first leadership opportunity, and it quickly became apparent that it was more challenging than I had imagined. I made mistakes along the way: I knew I needed a different approach to succeed in my new role—from managing myself and producing work to leading others and achieving results through them. Five Crucial Steps for Transitioning into Leadership Here are the 5 things I learnt: Transitioning from being a skilled individual contributor to a successful leader requires letting go of old habits and embracing new responsibilities. As your team grows so, too, must your ability to lead effectively, prioritising collaboration and trust over individual achievement. Developing Your Sandpit Strategy: Leading with Purpose and Legacy My journey from sandcastle builder to effective sandpit manager has taught me invaluable lessons. By mastering the art of “maintaining sandpits”—creating environments where teams thrive—I’ve seen remarkable results. This strategy, part of my 3P approach, led me to relationship-based leadership, an experimental mindset and leveraging neuroscience to develop practical solutions that get results. Whether you’re just starting your leadership journey or seeking to enhance your existing skills, it’s never too late to develop your sandpit strategy. Join me in the Leadership Lift program, designed for managers eager to transform their leadership style and build cohesive, high-performing teams. Discover how to lead with impact, leverage your strengths, and create a workplace where everyone thrives. Learn more about the program and take the next step toward becoming the leader your team deserves. Join the Leadership Lift Program:Transform your leadership skills and build strong, cohesive teams that achieve results and enjoy their work. Become the manager people want to work for. Explore how to lead with maximum impact and leverage your strengths.
Managing Up: Building a Better Relationship with your Manager
Creating a good relationship with your manager is essential. Doing so reduces stress, makes work more enjoyable, and sets everyone up for success. Managing up is a great way to improve your relationship, but what do we mean by “managing up” and why does it make such an important difference? Managing up is about reciprocity. It allows you to build a relationship that means both of you can be at your best more often. When you consciously develop and maintain a positive relationship with your manager, it makes your job easier, and your manager’s job easier, which is good for your career, results and job satisfaction. So how do we manage up? Managing up is about building a foundation of trust, openness and honesty. When you show your manager that you can be relied upon and have their back, that foundation of trust becomes stronger. That means you have to keep your promises, or renegotiate them if you can’t keep them, and always treat them with respect. Truth bomb: You and your manager are equals. Just as you like to be recognised for who you are and what’s important to you, getting to know your manager, showing interest in who they are and finding your rhythm together is the best way to ensure your collective success. Know them – notice their reactions and feelings, know their goals, and anticipate their needs. Learn who they are and what drives them, then notice how you can contribute to their enjoyment at work. Support them – stand in their shoes, proactively help them to achieve their goals, provide constructive feedback and recognise their wins. Be willing to work things through with them when they need, and always treat them with kindness. Partner with them – Establish two-way dialogue, set up regular check-ins, and be clear on how to raise and deal with issues. Invite them to provide feedback to you regularly, so they feel invested in your partnership and know you’re invested too. Show your strength through accountability. Connect with them – Embrace the baby elephants and don’t let the unsaid hang. Admit your mistakes, agree on the non-negotiables, and talk openly about trust. Set time aside to connect often, formally and informally, and be open to giving and receiving feedback, support, and guidance. Managing up requires that we avoid making promises we can’t keep, workplace politics, blame and judgement. It also means that we set and maintain good boundaries, and never focus on the task at the expense of the person. The result of managing up will always be a relationship where both people are at their best more often. What one thing are you committing to today that will improve your relationship with your manager? The relationship you build with your manager shapes how you show up every day at work. If you’re ready to strengthen that relationship with more trust and openness, reach out and let’s talk about what managing up could look like for you.
Navigating the Storm: Challenges Faced by Overwhelmed and New Managers
Stepping into a managerial role is often a double-edged sword. On one hand, it’s a significant milestone in your professional journey, a reward for your dedication, and leadership potential. On the other hand, it introduces a host of new challenges and responsibilities that can quickly leave overwhelmed new managers unsure of where to turn. The transition from individual contributor (task-doer) to manager (team-builder) requires a fundamental shift in mindset, skills, and approach. Understanding these challenges is the first step toward overcoming them and thriving in a leadership role. 1. Balancing Multiple Responsibilities One of the most daunting challenges new managers face is balancing multiple responsibilities. As a task-doer, success hinges on personal productivity and expertise. However, as a team-builder, you need to juggle various tasks, including team management, planning, budgeting, and administrative duties. This balancing act can be overwhelming, especially when priorities conflict and deadlines loom. To tackle this, managers must develop strong organisational and time-choice skills. Prioritising tasks, delegating effectively, and learning to say no when necessary are vital strategies. Embracing the concept of time choices over time management means taking responsibility for how you and your team spend time. Instead of trying to manage every minute, use your priorities and goals to make informed decisions on how to spend time, aiming to create a greater impact. 2. Building Trust and Strong Relationships Building trust and strong relationships is another significant challenge for new managers. Trust is the foundation of any successful team, and as a new manager, you need to earn the trust of your team members. This can be particularly challenging if you’re managing former peers or you’re new to the organization. To build trust, it’s essential to demonstrate strength, kindness, and a genuine interest in your team members. Be transparent, communicate openly, and show you are committed to their success. Building strong relationships based on trust takes time, but it pays off in increased team cohesion, productivity, and engagement. 3. Navigating Conflict and Difficult Conversations Conflict is inevitable in any team, and as a manager, it’s your responsibility to navigate these situations effectively. This can be particularly challenging for new managers who may feel uncomfortable addressing conflict or unsure of the best approach. One effective strategy is to cultivate an environment where candidness and clarity are valued. This involves setting clear expectations, fostering open communication, and addressing issues promptly. Encouraging decisive discussions focused on purpose and goals can help resolve conflicts more efficiently and prevent them from escalating. 4. Leading Through Change Change is a constant in the business world, and new managers often find themselves leading teams through periods of transition. Whether it’s a company-wide restructuring, the introduction of new technologies, or shifts in market dynamics, managing change can be overwhelming. To lead effectively through change, managers need to embrace an experimental mindset. This involves being open to new ideas, encouraging innovation, and viewing challenges as opportunities for growth. Providing clear direction and support to your team during change can also help reduce anxiety and resistance. 5. Managing Upward and Outward In addition to managing their teams, new managers must also navigate relationships with senior leaders and stakeholders. This involves advocating for your team’s needs, aligning with organisational goals, and managing expectations. Effective upward and outward management requires strong communication skills, strategic thinking, and the ability to influence and negotiate. Building relationships with key stakeholders and demonstrating your value as a leader can help you secure the support and resources your team needs to succeed. The Solution for Overwhelmed Managers Recognising these challenges is the first step toward overcoming them. One of the biggest mistakes I see senior leaders make is assuming that a great task-doer will automatically transition into a great team-builder. The reality is that the skills and behaviours that created success as a task-doer are quite different from what they will need in their new management role. They need support to successfully make the transition and my unique 3P system for leading is a great framework: Purpose: Ensure they understand what leadership is and why it’s important. Clarify and communicate the overarching goals and vision to provide a direct line of sight from the organisation’s vision to the manager and their team. People: Create a relationship map outlining key stakeholders and the type of relationships the manager needs to build. Support them in building strong, trust-based relationships and fostering a supportive and collaborative team environment. Process: Help them set up their day, week, or month to ensure they can be successful. Establishing the right operating rhythm from the beginning provides a solid foundation. Ensure they have the right tools and strategies to streamline workflows, enhance productivity, and manage team dynamics effectively. Stepping into a managerial role can be overwhelming, but with the right support and resources, new managers can navigate these challenges and thrive. Use my 3P leadership system to support your new managers, or if you need extra support, ask us about our Leadership Lift program. By focusing on purpose, people, and process, you can help your managers reduce overwhelm and lead their teams to success, giving you more time back and fostering happier, healthier teams. Navigating a storm as a new or overwhelmed manager doesn’t have to happen alone. If you’re ready for more clarity and confidence, send me a message and let’s talk it through.
Engaging Remote and Hybrid Teams
In the world of remote and hybrid work, the COVID-19 pandemic acted as a catalyst, forcing businesses to adapt quickly to new ways of working. However, for some leaders, managing geographically dispersed teams was already a familiar landscape. Long before the pandemic, I successfully led large, remote teams by leveraging a unique approach centred around three key pillars: Purpose, People, and Processes. Here’s a deep dive into how this 3-P strategy can help you engage and lead your remote or hybrid teams effectively. Purpose: The North Star The first pillar of my approach is Purpose. A clear and compelling purpose acts as the North Star for your team, guiding every decision and action. It’s about more than just setting goals; it’s about creating a shared vision that inspires and motivates. How to Implement Purpose: By consistently focusing on purpose, you create a sense of meaning and direction that transcends physical boundaries, keeping your team engaged and aligned. People: The Heroes The second pillar is People. At the heart of any successful team are its members. Recognising their value, understanding their needs, and fostering a strong, inclusive culture is crucial for engagement, especially in a remote or hybrid setting. How to Implement People-Centric Strategies: By focusing on people, you nurture a supportive and connected team environment where individuals feel valued and engaged. Processes: The Habits and Routines The third pillar is Processes. Efficient and transparent processes are the backbone of a productive remote or hybrid team. They provide the structure needed to operate smoothly and ensure everyone is on the same page. How to Implement Effective Processes: Effective processes create a stable framework within which your team can operate, reducing friction and enhancing productivity. They are the habits and rituals that ensure your remote or hybrid team are productive and efficient. Bringing It All Together The 3-P approach of Purpose, People, and Processes is not just a strategy for managing remote and hybrid teams; it’s a philosophy that fosters engagement, productivity, and success. By clearly defining your team’s purpose, focusing on the well-being and development of your people, and implementing the right habits and routines, you can create a cohesive and motivated team that thrives regardless of physical location. At Leaders Change Room, we believe that leadership is about creating environments where people can be at their best more often. The 3-P approach has been a cornerstone of our success in leading geographically dispersed teams, and we’re confident it can help you navigate the challenges and opportunities of the modern workplace. For more insights and personalised support in engaging your remote and hybrid teams, reach out to us at [email protected]. Together, we can lead the change and create a future where leadership is your organisations superpower.
The Power of Coaching: Creating Environments Where People Thrive
Effective leadership, especially within remote and hybrid teams, is about more than just directing tasks—it’s about unlocking potential. This involves creating an environment where individuals can grow, excel, and be at their best more often. One of the most powerful tools for achieving this is coaching. At Leaders Change Room, I have seen first-hand how the right coaching approach can transform teams and organisations. Here’s how you can harness the power of coaching through genuine curiosity, great questions, and insightful guidance, especially when leading remote and hybrid teams. Genuine Curiosity: The Foundation of Effective Coaching Genuine curiosity is the bedrock of impactful coaching. It involves a deep-seated interest in understanding people’s motivations, challenges, and aspirations. When leaders approach coaching with genuine curiosity, they create a space where team members feel valued and understood. How to Cultivate Genuine Curiosity: Great Questions: The Catalyst for Growth The art of asking great questions is central to effective coaching. Thought-provoking questions challenge team members to think critically, explore new perspectives, and develop innovative solutions. In a remote or hybrid setting, where face-to-face interaction is limited, the ability to ask the right questions becomes even more critical. Examples of Great Coaching Questions: These questions facilitate growth and foster a culture of reflection, celebration, continuous improvement, and innovation. Insight: Providing Clarity and Direction Insightful coaching involves offering guidance that helps team members gain clarity and direction. This doesn’t mean providing all the answers, it’s helping them to discover their own paths and solutions. Insightful coaching is particularly valuable in remote and hybrid teams, where employees may feel isolated and unsure of their progress. How to Provide Insightful Guidance: The Role of Coaching in Relationship-Based Leadership Coaching is a key element of relationship-based leadership, where building strong, meaningful relationships is the priority. By focusing on genuine curiosity, great questions, and insightful guidance, leaders can create an environment of trust, kindness, and strength. Adopting a coaching style also helps to maintain a sense of connection crucial for remote and hybrid teams. Benefits of Coaching Leadership in Remote and Hybrid Teams: Coaching is a powerful tool for creating environments where people can be at their best more often. By approaching leadership with genuine curiosity, asking great questions, and providing insightful guidance, you can foster a culture of growth, trust, and collaboration. This coaching style is particularly vital for remote and hybrid teams, ensuring that your people feel supported, valued, and empowered to succeed. At Leaders Change Room, we are committed to helping leaders develop the skills and strategies needed to coach effectively and build strong, resilient teams. Join us in embracing the power of coaching and creating a future where everyone can thrive. If you’re ready to build this into how you lead, reach out and let’s talk about what coaching could look like for your team.